Is this to much of a Deus ex machina in my story (not all of the story is here)?

Drifted slowly bobbying up and down in his surivial swimming posistion, he was face down in the water. Only moements ago was he on his own ship the Rosemary. He was taking the daughter of filthy rich mayer of Boca Roton. He had married her and was transportng her and there 3 year old child to a farther away estate, which he had just bought. Risqué, the merchant, was a traveling merchant who would sell things and make importnants of spices and other things of that sort. He would typically drop by Boca Raton to sell his small stock, common day herbs and wines, sometimes to children things like chocolate and toys. Everyday he went there he stayed there four days. Maybe it was true love at first sight or maybe she just met his standards, but in every other town he only stayed two days. He hardly got to talk to her because she always had a couple of the mayers men watching her. One day she got fed up and ran away and found him by the docks, so she had noticed him too, she requested to leave with him, but he knew he would be wanted if he did that. So he dragged her back to the Mayer and took in the insults from her. The Mayer thanked him and invited him over for dinner.

And so now he was married with her. She relized she did want to escape her father but did not relize Risqué knew this and knew he would get on the good side of the mayer and be able to be forgiven by her. So things worked out well.

If someone did not know better they might think Rique was drift wood if he did not sometimes lift his head and took a big breath from his deep sleep. Only a momments ago was he with Maria his son aboard the Rosemary. Only a moment ago was he on a pirate ship, witnessing the death of his son, and destruction of Rosemary. Everything he owned was on that ship and when the knife was unsealthed all the love given to that boy was spilt. He had men with him on Rosemary but they died too. His wife was not killed, for he knew that she would be used for a ransom. The Mayer would do anything to get her back. Aparently he was worth nothing, the slick Pirate captain missing half of his teeth and dark of face figured, so he was thown over boar for the sharks.

He was starting to get his energy back, but was not srong enough to get back on the hunk of Rosemary that was left, that he rode as far out as he did. He was also not the least bit angry at the Pirate, how could he? He was too tired. He thought he saw the pirate in a wanted add, Wanted Dead: Stede Smith (They did not bother to write “Or alive” as they mostly don’t do)

Nearly given up all hope he wasgoing to let go a dn drown to the depts below. As he sunk further down away from the wicked sun he saw something, somehow, thorugh the water that stung his eyes. His hand grabed for it, and it held steady. He slowly was drifting vertically rather than falling down. Slowly he picked up speed on whatever he held and than he broke from the top of the water. He could not believe it, as he drew his breath as he did when he was floating. He was riding a Dolphin!

Being carried by that dolphin which was picking up speed he slowly was losing his tiredness and picking up anger. Occasualy his fingers would strain to hold on to the dolphin but he understood as his fingers did that this creature of god was his only way out of here. Strangely he questioned whether this Porpoise was of Gods work, it was traveling way to fast for him to hold on, its head rocked left and right trying to shake him free, it seemed, and it traveled towards the sunlight which blinded Risqué. He had been bought to an island.

The shore was extremely white and led to the lush forest that he believed could have been paradise if he had not seen the pile of corpses burning in the camp fire of the beach. There were crates filled with rum and grog, spices and seasoning and bananas all smashed on the rocks washing on shore. There was nothing to say for the ship except of what remained of it torn apart across the white sand like crumbs on a noble’s silver plate. The ship had crashed on rocks and than had been killed off and burned by someone, most lily Stede.

The Dolphin was still coming to shore at full speed. It than did what no other dolphin Risqué heard ever did, came out of the water. Risqué used to see his dad catch small fish and sometimes they would fall out of the line of the hook and onto the floor. When they would do that they would move up and down, left and right in unconrtolabl spasms like a person, who could not swim, struggle in water, the dolphin was no different.

Reaching out to led a hand to roll it back ino the water, the dolphin snapped at it and almost bit it too. Its black body was still slick and wet, its eyes were blazing, Risqué thought he saw red. He desided to leave the poor beast to its fate and check out the crash sight when he remembered whee he would be right now, rotting down in the depths of the ocean along with the dead whales. So he rIs this to much of a Deus ex machina in my story (not all of the story is here)?
Yes, the dolphin is truly implausible, if that's the one to which you are referring. Most of the other events seem unlikely as well though, so unfortunately, with all due respect, that particular deus ex machina is the least of your problems.

In addition to the plotting issues you also have many spelling and grammar errors and your sentence structure, while apparently deliberate, is contrived and awkward, not to mention inconsistent.Is this to much of a Deus ex machina in my story (not all of the story is here)?
too hard to read, use paragraphs %26amp; don't use run on sentences.



are you entering the bad Hemingway contest or something similar ?

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